Starting Over, Money Honey Energy & Your It Girl Strategy with Elyse Berendson

TL;DR: Life and business coach Elyse Berendson returns to The Self Made Life Podcast to talk about starting over at 38, building a human design business strategy that fits who you are, her new It Girl quiz, and why so many women still feel guilty asking for what they’re worth. Her big message: stop copying someone else’s strategy and build the business only you can build.

She’s Pivoted Again

The last time Elyse Berendson came on the show, she told me she’s the queen of pivoting. Well, she’s at it again.

Elyse is a life and business coach, the founder of Elyse Berendson & Co., and the host of The Soulful Coach podcast. In the last two years, she’s worked with more than 275 women. Her whole mission comes down to one idea: women are allowed to want more, earn more, and own it.

This time, though, she came on in the middle of a real-life reset. She’s 38, single, and calling this her starting over season. So we talked about what that looks like, how she’s using human design business strategy to rebuild, and why she refuses to keep that process hidden from her audience.

Starting Over in Business (and Life) at 38

Elyse didn’t plan to share her starting over story online. At first, she held back. But she noticed something. When you’re going through something big and still trying to run a business, part of you stays hidden. People could feel it, too. A few even messaged her to ask if she was okay.

So she hit post. Then her DMs filled up with women going through something similar.

For Elyse, that honesty isn’t a strategy trick. It’s how she’s built. In human design, she’s a 4/6 Manifesting Generator. That means her lived experience is a big part of how she teaches and connects. Still, the lesson applies to everyone. People don’t bond with a perfectly posed version of you. They bond with your story.

Part of her reset also means letting some things go. She recently announced that her October retreat, her 11th, will be her last solo retreat. She loves hosting them. But a retreat is a huge product to promote and run alone. So instead of forcing it, she’s making space for what’s next.

What Is a Human Design Business Strategy?

Here’s the heart of the episode. Elyse is helping her clients build a personalized blueprint for their business using human design. That blueprint shapes how they sell, how they show up, and how they create content.

Why does this matter? Because most of us copy. We see a trend, we try it, and we get three likes and two unfollows. Then we’re back to square one and feeling worse.

That’s why she created her new It Girl quiz. It matches your human design blueprint with one of four It Girl types. Each type points to a different way to curate your content and brand. So if you’re wondering why another business owner posts constantly and it works for her, the answer is simple. That’s her strategy. It isn’t supposed to be yours.

I felt this one personally. I bought the microphone, filmed one yapping video, and realized pretty fast that it wasn’t me. Elyse called it right away. As a Projector, I’m more of a b-roll, carousel, behind-the-scenes girl. And I’ve already hit six figures without yapping. Your path to success doesn’t have to match anyone else’s.

You Can’t Skip to Step Twenty

Elyse is also reworking her coaching framework for a new offer launching in October. The order goes like this: identity first, then brand, then business, then visibility.

Here’s why that order matters. Women often come to her wanting to grow their business right away. But when she asks who they are and what they want, they don’t know yet. Often, after a visualization exercise, they realize they don’t even want the thing they were chasing.

This lines up with how we work at Monarch, too. Before we ever touch a logo or a website, we get clear on strategy and messaging. Because when you skip the foundation, you end up with a brand that looks nice but doesn’t actually fit you, or your pricing.

Women and Money: The Pattern She Keeps Seeing

After working with 275+ women, Elyse sees the same thing again and again. Many women don’t feel worthy of earning a certain amount. They feel guilty. They feel uncomfortable saying their income goal out loud. And there’s always an opinion lurking in the background, whether it’s an aunt, a friend, or that voice at the Thanksgiving table.

That’s exactly why she created the Money Honey Room. It’s an intimate space where women talk openly about money and claim that they deserve more. Her first round went so well that round two is on the way.

We also talked about a piece of advice that stuck with her: write an email like a man would. No over-apologizing. No long justifications. Just a clear, confident message.

So what changes once women shift? According to Elyse, they feel free. They look back and wonder what they were so afraid of.

“Why are we so afraid of being ourselves, being honest, and asking for what we’re worth?” — Elyse Berendson

Why the Breadwinner Conversation Still Matters

Elyse doesn’t believe every woman has to be the breadwinner. But she does believe any woman who wants to be should feel allowed to say it. She talks about money openly with her son, too. And he already tells her he’s going to buy her groceries for the rest of her life.

For both of us, this part comes down to our kids. We want our daughters to know they can provide for themselves. We also want our sons to grow up seeing that as normal.

Human Connection Over Chatbots

We also got into AI. Elyse is clear that she’ll never outsource her coaching to a bot. She thrives in person, and she believes women crave connection, community, and real conversation.

I shared a different angle, because I’ve had a great experience with Kelsey’s program, The Art of Becoming, which pairs an AI coach with group coaching. We agreed on the bigger point, though. AI can support you. It just can’t replace the human connection your clients are paying for.

Theme Days, Energy Spurts, and “Body Before Brain”

As a single mom and a Manifesting Generator, Elyse runs her week on theme days. Mondays are CEO days, midweek is for clients, Thursdays are coaching calls, and Fridays are her goddess days. She works in energy spurts, an hour here and an hour there, and she protects one non-negotiable: move your body before you start brain work.

Meanwhile, I’m the opposite. Give me noise-cancelling earbuds and a coworking space and I’ll focus for hours. Again, that’s the point of this whole episode. Build the business that fits your design.

What Does Self Made Mean to Elyse?

Her answer was quick and very on-brand: become your own money honey. Make your own money, become the breadwinner if you want to, and stop caring what other people think.

Frequently Asked Questions

What is a human design business strategy? A human design business strategy uses your human design chart to shape how you sell, create content, and show up online. Instead of copying someone else’s approach, you build around your own energy type and strengths.

Who is Elyse Berendson? Elyse Berendson is a life and business coach, founder of Elyse Berendson & Co., and host of The Soulful Coach podcast. She has worked with more than 275 women on business, brand, and money mindset.

What is the It Girl quiz? Elyse’s It Girl quiz matches your human design blueprint with one of four It Girl types, each with its own approach to content and branding.

What is the Money Honey Room? The Money Honey Room is Elyse’s intimate event for women who want to talk openly about money, pricing, and earning more. Round two is coming soon.

How do I start over in business? Start with identity before strategy. Get clear on who you are and what you actually want, then build your brand and business around that, rather than chasing someone else’s version of success.

Listen to the Full Episode

Catch the full conversation with Elyse on Spotify or Apple Podcasts. Then connect with her on Instagram @elyseberendson or at stan.store/elyseberendson to take the It Girl quiz and learn about the mastermind and Money Honey Room.

Missed our first episode together? Find it, and every other episode, in the podcast archive here.

Ready for a Brand That Actually Fits You?

If you’ve outgrown your DIY brand and you’re tired of copying strategies that were never built for you, let’s talk. At Monarch Design Co., we start with strategy so your brand, website, and pricing all line up with the business you’re building now. Explore our services or book a discovery call. You can also come say hi on Instagram @monarchdesignco.